i’ve been rather sick today. pretty sick. feeling simply awful. every time I move my head, it spins a million times & I fall over. i’ve been in bed just all day long, barely able to stand up, so i’ve gotten nothing out of a hundred things to do done at all. I read 2 & a half books & watched a movie, & slept & ate soup. every 5seconds i’m asked if I want to see a doctor. & I don’t. I know people get so dizzy when they’ve an inner ear infection, but my ears feel fine. & i’ll be better tomorrow, yep, sure will.

I finished A Young Girl’s Diary, & now want everyone in the world to read it. it’s as good as any fiction, better, because it’s so honest. & sad, it ends awfully. I also read Five on Kirrin Island Again, because i’d forgotten I had it, it’s all secret under-ocean tunnels & “we would’ve got away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids,” & they’ve even a dog.

Trina came over & gave me a late birthday present, & you know, she gave me one of the bracelets i’d been looking at in Myers one day! it’s prettie. & also a pink notebook with black paper &! a gold ink pen. i’m pretty easy to buy presents for, I think, because everyone knows my million quirks. but my head is coming loose again so i’m going to lie back down.


today was the last day of semester. I arrived late because I was a bit hungover.  I brought the work i’d done on the assignment last night but! those awful girls had already handed it in! how stupid! now we’re all going to fail. what idiots. & they forgot to have everyone sign it. I hereby hate them all. I didn’t say anything to them, though.

when I went to my sociology discussion, he was handing back the essays! hurrah! until I saw my grade. a P. a fucking P!! 😮 do you know what P stands for? Pass. it’s like a high-school C. I couldn’t believe it. I keeled over. I wept and tore at my hair. then, rather than talking about the globalisation of media, they talked about BIG BROTHER. oh my god. I walked out, leaving my P essay on the floor in imaginary shreds. Melanie, a darling girl in that class, also only got a P, & had a similar reaction. we’re both HD students! & now mortal nemeses of Jim, the lecturer, the distributer of Ps.

other than that i’ve been feeling a bit unwell all day. since i’ve finally finished both Taltos and Five on a Treasure Island I can now start A Young Girl’s Diary. 🙂

jumping castle

I can’t believe I forgot to mention: there was a JUMPING CASTLE at uni yesterday! on my birthday! that is so perfect I could just die right now. I accidentally kicked about 666 people in the head. acceidentally? good quesation/

the guy I did the cirttylife design for emailed me saying he liked itm but it was too dsatrk. actually, he said: “Thanks for doing those two layouts for me. I definitely prefer your creative than the humdrum norm design2, however it IS a bit dark for a corporate lifestyle mag in this local, often brain-dead market. I would love to see how it would look with the black toned to a bright light blue or lime.” so over the weekend i’ll.. undarken it. however I certainly won’t lime it. yipers.

everyone went out to my sister’s highschool musical tonight, leaving me here alone to imbibe large quantities of bourbon & harrass people on ICQ. i’m drunk enough to not xorrect typos when I read over things & see thewm. or drnk enough tonot read over things, & from hereon I will not, because it;s embarrassing. but it’s probably more embarrassing to not, but it’s impossible to be ema\barrassed at themoment


happy berthday to me! it hasn’t felt like my birthday, but then, it hasn’t since I was about 12. I certainly don’t feel 22. 22 is adult! when I was 7 i’d try to imagine myself at this age, & what I am now is nowhere, nowhere near it.

I actually woke up quite crabby. I had a dream in which I lived in a sky-high apartment building in a forest of identical buildings. my evil xhusband lived in the building next door, one floor higher than mine, and was always peering into my window! & my windows had no curtains! my nanna rang to tell me happy birthday & I told her about it & she tried to get me to tell her what I thought it meant. but it only means the obvious, which is too stupid to talk about.

I haven’t thought about him for months, since that last terrible argument. I quite like not thinking about him. although now that we’ve been separated for a year I can finally apply for divorce! so will do that very soon.

today I had a stats test, as I mentioned a few days ago, & it was easy peasy! wow. it was all on confidence intervals and correlation. then met my stats group in the library to work on our assignment, & I took a picture of them [which is no longer up]! they are so darling. their names are Regan, Melissa and Vienda.

now I am bout to go out for birthday tea. yay!

22 tomorrow!

I showered today. I only shower every 2nd day, because really I quite hate showering. it’s such a bother. I do have to wash my hair every day though because since I shaved the rest of my head my fringe seems to get greasy faster, so I usually wash it over the sink. anyway. I watched Powder today, which I love but makes me so very sad, so I don’t watch it often. am I the only person who watches movies over & over, reads books over & over, forever?

it was my day off but I went to uni anyway to work on the group assignment. only one girl was there today so we did the results section together (two of the answers in yesterday’s link were wrong; can you pick them?). she now thinks i’m simply fascinating because I have a business and have been married & am only 21.
22 tomorrow!
but I think, believe it or not, that i’m actually making friends out of the girls in this group! how odd! I had coffee with them! (well, I had lemonade. they had coffee.)

whilst waiting at the bus stop a funny little old man got off one of the buses & wandered around for a bit. I ignored him until I heard a girl giving him directions to the campus shopping centre, across the highway.. he’d gotten off at the wrong stop. I told him to wait five minutes for the next bus & they’d take him back there for free. he said thanks! & then asked me what I was studying, & when I told him psychology, he didn’t know what it was! that’s how old he was. he drooled & had cataracts, & told me to invest in diamonds rather than gold. what a funny man. since I was catching the same bus I told the bus driver his dilemma and pressed the button for him & he talked to me all the way.

I checked my po box and had ebay things! a multi-media card for my camera, and Five on a Treasure Island by Enid Blyton! I am 7years old. then I had lunch at 3. if I have breakfast I don’t get lunch-hungry ’til 3, then tea-hungry ’til about 1am. if I don’t have breakfast I get lunch-hungry at about 11, tea-hungry at 8 (which is normal tea-time). I think i’ll go back to not having breakfast. i’m not the 3meal-a-day type.


I realised today i’ve a stats exam on the 28th. haha. haha. good one, life. way to give me a STATS exam on my birthday. but! just found out I got 80% on my last one! that is extraordinarily great, considering I failed the one before that.

imagine that, all I can talk about is stats. I spent all afternoon doing a PY2103 report. & now can barely think. it’s due on Friday, which is the last day of semester.

I love very strong eyebrows on women.

& do you know? I didn’t even begin A Young Girl’s Diary. I haven’t had any time to read ’cause I stayed up all night answering emails & had Anthropology in the morning. I never have another Anthropology class again! imagine how i’ll feel when I never have to have another Sociology lecture again. we had to fill out an evaluation form on the lecturer & because it was anonymous I was really quite cruel. but honest! not really cruel. it’s impossible for me to be purposely cruel. doesn’t work. however I do seem to be unpurposely cruel all the time.

oh &! a couple of my clients’ sites were hacked. someone got in through sendmail! how embarrassing.

lala lalalala

today was the second Sunday in a row spent in the library doing stats, retch. surprisingly, it was all quite simple. but the girls in my group must be stupider than usual. they don’t know what they’re doing, & look up everything in their textbooks every 6seconds but still get it wrong. about a gabillion times I had to tell them why they were wrong without making them feel stupid or resentful.

then I went & sat outside with the stats girls for an hour & chattered. it was a very surreal experience for me because I can’t remember the last time I sat around & chattered with people my age. they talked about nightclubbing and shopping for “cute tops” & stuff for a while & I didn’t have a thing to say because I don’t nightclub or shop for “cute tops,” but gosh, it was very entertaining.

&! i’d requested Freud’s a young girl’s diary & it arrived today! oooyay! I shall devour it tonight in an hour flat, I bet. I remember raptly doing the same my first semester at uni upon finding it. how did I ever find it? it’s purely brilliant.

alright.. I must have some non-library stuff to say. I finished the second citylife design & emailed them both to Trina. she came over & looked at the first one last night (after i’d posted already) & kept saying “well I like it,” which I think implies that she doesn’t think her boss will like it. but my mumm likes it, so there. 😛

a pimp & a prostitute too

now my weekend is half over! but soon it will be holidays. I am so worn, drawn & exhausted all the time, & thinking of everything i’ve yet to do. today I moved 30 accounts from 3 small servers to one great big new one, which was a long & horrid job. then I designed a mock for citylife magazine, which is based on an old unpuppet design! but different. i’ve still to do another one, & i’ve already got the basic idea of it, i’m scanning the logo for it right now. it’s at 61%, & is taking a while because i’m scanning it so big.

what else? I rewrote my notes for my last stats lecture into neatness. I walked the dogs, & got a prickle in my foot & a billion grass seeds in my skirt. I watched Ed & I do have a crush on him. I received a birthday card from my dad?

i’ve found that if I end my sentences upwards, as though they are questions, when they actually aren’t, people very often say “what?” despite having heard me. i’ve been testing it.

otherwise. generally down. nothing to say.


uni was fun today. stats is getting easier! hurrah! correlation & linear regression are nothing compared to t-test & power. I hate t-tests & power.

in sociology the tutor asked “who watched dateline last night?”
& I made a *pfft* noise.
& he said “it does affect your life! you should have a political stand!”
& I said “i’ve too many assignments to have a political stand.”
& he said “well the way you dress suggests a political stand.”
& I thought it does?

one of the girls in that tute is called Linda & everyone thinks she is a lesbian because she’s a feminist & activist for all kinds of things & has very short hair dyed orange & doesn’t shave her legs. we were talking about generalisations & whether they are wrong or if there are fair ones, & were suggesting ones that could be fair (I don’t think any are fair).
the boy with one eye said “all women suck at cricket.”
so Linda fired back in 0.4358906235 of a second: “all men are rapists.”
she’s great! & because of her i’ve decided not to shave or wax my legs for at least a month, because I too want to be great. & I hate shaving my legs.

& now it’s Friday! 100hurrahs! I just walked the dogs & am trying to teach Lila to sit, but she only does when I hold up a dog biscuit. if I don’t have one she just won’t. bad dog. &! someone had stolen some of my graphics & put them on his site. so I signed his guestbook saying “hello. i’ve noticed your theft of my images. please remove them, or i’ll do it for you. thanxxx.”
he emailed me saying “Go ahead remove them – it would be too much a pain in my ass to try and figure out wich of your graphics I was insane enough to ever use in the first place.” & then told me if I didn’t want people to steal my stuff I should use a no-right-click script. so! I emailed his host telling them about it & asked them to close his account, & 5 minutes later they replied saying they had! gosh! I hadn’t even provided proof.. although i’d said I could if they asked, & I would have. but that was hurrah, too. the end.


today went fast! I had a tutorial at 10. the tutor gave us each either a 1 or a 2 (I was a 1) & said “all 1s go out onto the balcony for a few minutes.” so we trooped out there & chattered about exams & stuff. then she came out & said “who’s feeling positive today?” & 6 people raised their hands (out of 10) (I didn’t raise mine). we went back inside & she said to the 2s “who’s feeling positive today?” & they all raised their hands. & do you know why? ’cause she told everyone to shake each other’s hand & say “I wish you health & happiness.” how unfair! I want health & happiness, too, damnit!

after that I went to meet Georgia at a cafe. & hurrah! it was simply awesomely. I got there first & was reading with an orange juice when I heard a “hi!” & she just sat down, smiling. she’s exactly the same, but with shorter hair. darling girl. I wasn’t an idiot at all, & it was only slightly awkward. after lunch we went shopping, I posted a boxx of lovelie stuff to a lovelie person, & then she had to go ride horses & I had a lecture on.. abnormal psychology! yay! i’d been waiting all semester for it.

I walked into a door

I woke up at 4am and lay half dreaming until I realised I was on the floor, I turned on the radio & all that would come out was horrid overwhelming tribal beats, no matter what the station, & even if it wasn’t a station at all! turned it off immediately. & started going through my two shoeboxes full of letters from my friends when I was 16 & moving all over the country leaving them behind. they were all so cheer-full, I looked at a photo of us all in a line with cheeky chesire grins in our drab school uniforms splattered with water-fight water for about an hour. I can’t remember the me I was.

then! let’s see. had my usual croissant with very, very finely sliced cheese, and raspberrie cordial, of course, diet, because there is far too much sugar otherwise. checked my email & set up new hosting accounts & such. I was on ICQ for a while.. & as a result nearly missed my bus, which would be nothing unusual. on the way I took heaps of pictures of reflections in the windows, but none turned out right. walking past a bar I wished I could photograph the smell, it’s so pervasive, and so identifiable as “bar.”

I visited every second-hand bookshop in town, wandered around the esplanade lagoon and photographed a stretching pelican with a crowd of pigeons. dropped my eyeshadow box & it smashed into a thousand pieces, so I need new eyeshadow. walked right into a doorhandle & now have a lovelie round bruise on my forearm (“I walked into a door!”). bought two books and an astro boy comic, which I took out to read on the bus home, & then left it behind on the seat!

I hate big brother with a passion. it is the worst television show of all time, & I wish, I wish it would die a horrible, painful & agonisingly slow death.

silent static idiot

got back two of my essays today! anthropology essays. I got a HD for the race one and a D+ for the war one. I am doing much better than I have previous semesters, despite a lack of any English & Art classes.

& my hair has grown long enough so I don’t need to wear a hat after washing it to make it lie flat anymore! yay! I really hate hair that sticks up, unless it’s really short. like one millimetre short. I need to dye it again already. my [natural] hair is much darker now then it used to be, but that could be an illusion..

I met my stats project group & we talked about what we’d done. which wasn’t much. one of the girls I intensely like, she is so adorable, & so self depreciating. I notice more & more that I must be the only person on campus who hasn’t a friend, who walks everywhere alone.

Georgia wrote back. she wants to meet for coffee/lunch on the Esplanade on Thursday at noon. shock. shock. I am so nervous, & so happy, & so scared. I don’t have cofee/lunch. I don’t meet for coffee/lunch. & I have class all day Thursday, but I told her i’d meet any time.. what will happen? don’t let her be scared of me. i’ve changed so much. she must have too. don’t let me be a silent static idiot with nothing to say!

Go, Anna

oh, today was Sunday, & I had to have some work on my stats project done by Monday. So I was all set to do it today, but then I realised I couldn’t do it because I needed a program that is on the computers at uni! So I went to the library from 2-5, because it was only open from 1-5. & there was hardly anyone there, ’cause it was a Sunday, &! I saw the hugest goanna on the bridge across the creek going up to the library. It ran away from me & finally jumped off the bridge it was so scared, but it was huge. I was scared of it, but still took some pictures of it, but no good ones because it was running away the whole time.

I stopped at Smithfield on the way home. every time I cross the road there, I remember how my mother fell so heavily on her face. it makes me so very uncomfortable to think about, because she has so much dignity, and it all fled with the blood pouring off her face & the one sob she let escape. such small things affect me so very much where a few years ago I wouldn’t’ve thought of them a second time.