today I thought I was well enough to go out. realised how wrong I was when I woke up with my face on the floor of valleygirl & the rest of my body 5 miles away. yeah, valleygirl! my sister shops there! but they had a coat in the window, a lovelie, lovelie coat & now it’s mine. except i’ll put it away & probably never see it again. i’m supposed to be keeping my money! I buy so much junk. I bought a soft toy goldfish, too. it came with a children’s book with a typo & the same pictures used over & over in different scenes.
so. I went to the doctor, finally. big fat waste of time. I finished my book in the waiting room, & then started thinking I must have been too engrossed in it to hear them call my name, i’d been waiting so long. but he called my name. & made me stand on one leg with my eyes closed, & touch my nose & touch his finger. & then he said he didn’t know what was wrong with me so it was probably nothing & to come back if it didn’t go away on its own. stupid, stupid!
then! tonight my mother came home & said “oh this morning a package came for you.” this morning! she’d put it by the door & someone had dumped laundry all over it! to think it had been sitting there all day with me walking past it a dozenX80 times. & what do you think it was? birthday stuff from just my favourite person in the world! I devoured it for hours & should write him right now. but will tomorrow because.. because i’ll be better tomorrow. yeah? my period just came. 😐