what’s the matter with me anyway? I don’t have anything to really worry about anymore. the worst is over, things are almost back to normal. my life isn’t so very bad.

hmm. hmmm. alright. i’m going to plan my tomorrow, and try my best to stick to it.

  • i’ll sleep in, as I haven’t been sleeping well and must be tired, which is probably contributing a lot, regardless of whether or not I actually feel tired. i’ll get up at, say, 10.
  • and take a bath before doing anything, including checking email. well, maybe i’ll check it for emergencies, otherwise i’ll worry throughout the bath. but I won’t read it! unless it is an emergency. i’ll shave my legs and condition my hair.
  • then i’ll read and answer email.
  • after which i’ll have breakfastlunch, because it’ll be around 11.
  • then! I will lock myself firmly in my room, play dead can dance, and read my anthropology articles with the essay question in mind, making notes as I find things which pertain to that question. I won’t necessarily commit myself to writing the essay yet, as it isn’t due for a week&ahalf.
  • for a break I will go through my folders and write on my calendar when everything is due, so I can properly prioritise.
  • and will finish around 1pm? if I am feeling miserable still, I will walk the dogs. if I am feeling okay, I will permit a reading session of 45 minutes at most.
  • check my email again. I will not waste inordinate amounts of time reading friends pages and visiting semi-interesting websites.
  • at 2:15 i’ll catch the bus to Uni. I will not dawdle and be late, but will go straight to the theatre and pinch the best seat.
  • if the lecturer is up from Townsville, I will take copious notes and not leave early. if, however, the lecture is televised, I will stay for the first hour, take uncopious notes, then go and have lunchdinner at 4pm (it’s okay, because he puts his lecture notes on studentsonline anyway. I needn’t even really go at all).
  • at 5pm I will go to my tutorial. i’ll be lively in discussions and contribute rather than fading into the walls and skulking out when their backs are turned. I will be bright and sociable. I will stay for the entire 3 hours.
  • after the practical I will catch the bus home, whether I am offered a lift or not.
  • at 8:30pm I will watch Criminal Intent. I will not ignore my family and shrug at their Are you alright?s, because I will be alright.
  • I will not watch whatever follows Criminal Intent just for the sake of watching it. I will clean my room and do my laundry.
  • bedtime no later than 11pm; if i’m not tired yet a reading session will again be permitted for 1hour at most. If I still can’t sleep by 12:30 i’ll take a pill, because i’ll have to get up early. positive i’ll be able to sleep, though.

I am hopeful.