sleeplessness, senselessness

sleep wouldn’t visit me last night no matter what. must’ve gotten at most 2 hours; it felt like I lay there for 10 years and rolled over 500 times. plus I felt yuckie, so kept thinking I was going to throw up but didn’t. so it wasn’t even good turning over, it was bad because all I could think about was how bad I felt.

I skipped my first lecture half today, and should’ve skipped the whole thing ’cause all she talked about was how there’s no world other than the world we perceive and nothing exists except in terms of your relationship to it and there are no subjectivities except in relation to other subjectivities and no such thing as an individual. and truth does not inhabit the inner self, because there is no inner self, there is only the self in the world and only in the world can you know the self. which is very interesting, but I over-covered it in like 4 sentences. she went on for an ultra-repetitive hour.