I was so angry today. I screamed at people and slammed doors. for no reason..
last night I made an angry entry, but I was only angry for like 5 minutes and came back and removed it. I was angry over nothing then, too.
at the moment i’m nothing. which is good!, because i’ve been extraordinarily bad. but angry is disturbing, and unusual. screaming is very unusual. hopefully I will stay nothing.
i’d made an appointment to see Sue, my stats tutor, about the lab report. to analyse data we use SPSS, an unintuitive, bulky and complicated program designed by statisticians, and I couldn’t figure out how to analyse my two-group’d data when we’ve been learning ANOVAs all semester, which are only for more-than-two-groups-designs. she showed me just what to do, so I ran to a computer lab while it was fresh in my mind, and! it’s done! yay! that’s half the assignment right there. the worse half.
the results showed that ratings of attractiveness significantly increase when the subject has a BAC of.. high. they also, surprisingly, showed that when sober, males and females rate similarly, but as BAC goes up males rate far higher than females. surprising because I constructed the gender data entirely randomly.
forensics today, we had to profile actual offenders. various crime shows make it look so easy, “he’s done this and this, so he’s obviously a young, socially inept, single male living with his overbearing, controlling mother who has inadvertently caused him to hate all women and frequently enact his revenge…” but you know, it’s really hard and inexact. every characteristic is bound to be featured in more than one profile category. four groups all analysed the same case and came up with four entirely different profiles.
mine was right though. he was an anger-retaliation rapist because he was needlessly hurt-inflicting, but impulsive and unprepared.
they used the term “disinhibited.”
my bottom lip is blood-raw yet I chew on it still.
I have to get up early tomorrow for.. stats! I had a look at my core subjects for next year. “Advanced Behavioural Research Design & Analysis.” that translates to “horrendously difficult stats.” should I do it next semester while this semesters stats are relatively fresh in my mind, or wait ’til the next so I have time to grow accustomed to a gruelling third year workload? I should take into account the probability that I will not complete this degree at all, and do heaps of useless but terribly interesting psychopathology and personality.