guess what! today i’ve been nothing, all day long! yay!
i’m behind, though. so no yay.
today in the stats tute we measured our fine motor skills to test different forms of practise. I thought about lying about my scores but didn’t. and when they were all written up, I was smack in the middle. average. I was the average score. average motor skills me.
afterwards I was about to leave when one of the american girls pounced me and said, “you’re in AN3008, right? do you know where to get a cover sheet for the essay?”
“essay!” i’d forgotten entirely it was due today. “lucky I ran into you,” I interrupted, meanwhile she didn’t even crack a smile and went right on with her sentence.
so I had to go home, print out my essay, then go back to uni to hand it in.
that’s what happens when you finish assignments weeks in advance. you forget to hand them in.
I swallow 30 lumps a day. I wonder what they’re made of. solid lumps of tears, of shame, of insincerity. flesh! dead oesophagus cells. I think each lump swallowed is a flushed goldfish. that’s where they go. uncrying-peoples’ throats.
my nails are silver, like metal, if I were 13 i’d say something like “for piercing & ripping to shreds.”
but i’m not, so i’ll say “if you think a freckle or mole has changed colour, shape or texture, see your doctor immediately.”
“what of freckles that move of their own accord, that creep up your forearm and assume patterns apparently detectable only to you?”
“ah, honestly, you are impossible. incorrigible. inpossible. improbable. you are most unlikely.”
in on the spot, live conversation, I am about this lucid; experience grave difficulty wording sentences so they’re comprehensible. comprehendible. to say what I mean. in group discussions, which make up approximately half the syllabus, i’m a blathering wreck. hate myself. 🙂