starved for something

an ex-friend just gave a detailed description of how he got beat up so his face broke and now has to have reconstructive surgery if he wants to keep using it. it made me feel sick, I don’t want to know. about people hurting people. it makes me feel sick.

today, i’ll write about today tomorrow. i’m starved for something, I know that much. feeling hopeless, bad, hurt. I think i’m being lied to. I want to.. want to fucking __ I don’t know. hopeless, yes, i’d like to die, tonight; I request the Universe poison me in my sleep, crush, suffocate, implode. drowned in ichor, eaten alive, dissolved, turned to stone/dust, head on a pike, left for nocturnal creatures.

I feel you’re a wall, and I could pound on you but you’d still be a wall. a dull, blank wall. a dumb, white wall.