exasperatedly drawn out are

i’ve been so involved in business stuff lately that I can barely even think of anything else. i’ve done a lot of stuff i’d wanted to do for a while.. but there’s still so much more I want to do. i’ve recently had a brilliant idea for expanding it, but haven’t the time now.

I find it very frustrating to not immediately proceed to make ideas reality. when I have them.

tonight I really am going to bed early because i’m so tired. and I have to start doing things tomorrow. I am moving, afterall, it’s not just a trip. plus my room is an absolute mess.. but i’m not messy. there’s just too much stuff in there.
mumm keeps telling me what not to do.. I said, “mumm, i’m not an idiot.”
she said “yes you arrrrrrre,” with an exasperatedly drawn out are.

I tried tictacs again but couldn’t restrain myself and ate the whole pack in an hour. so back to none. i’d switched to gum for a while but the same thing happened. I bet I could get addicted to peppermint cigarettes in one second.

oh! I nearly forgot. while waking up this morning, which by the way was weird as well, because I suddenly realised I was awake, where I usually never remember waking. anyway I was lying on my side when I opened my eyes, only it was dark so there was no difference, but I saw flashing lights. like the lights on a police car, blue and red. they were only small, like I was seeing them from a mile away. I closed my eyes and looked away but they were there for almost a minute.
I took it as an omen.

and, in a bookshop, I picked randomly up one of those books where you open it up and the page you open it on tells you your fortune. this was a love one, as in “book of love fortunes,” or something. I opened it up to a page that said “it’s not what you think.”
I didn’t try again .. 🙂