my favourite food of the moment: sauted grated cauliflower. it’s just like fried rice, but better.
prior to that it had been vanilla yoghurt and toasted muesli, and prior to that.. probably watermelon. or cantaloupe. oh. ah, fruit is always my favourite, how I revere.

I weighed myself for the first time in ages to find I’m pretty much my ideal weight. should I name it? it seems a terribly personal detail.. easier to say “I masturbate every 20 minutes at least,” than “I weigh ___.” 53 kg. I do go up and down a lot though I think. my diet is a bit schizophrenic. it’s one of those mundane details I’d really rather just not have to bother with. eating, I mean.

boo to you, busdriver

menacing busdriver from hell: scolded me for putting my bag down before putting my ticket through, “it’d be a lot easier to do that after paying.” I looked at him, ’cause it just didn’t make sense. “now, look, you’re holding everyone up. get out of the way.”
put my ticket through, got out of the way. when he reached my stop I waited for him to open the back door until I noticed he was taking longer than usual, I looked up and he just stared grimly at me in the rearviewmirror for at least a minute before opening the door. honked his horn! as he pulled away. i’ve been thinking about it the rest of the day.


in some department store or other, walking past the toy section, I noticed a boy my age amongst a million pink doll boxes. how odd, thought I. walking back, my soon-to-be purchases in my clutches, he spied me and brandished his penis absurdly in my direction.
“there’s a guy masturbating in the Barbie section,” I said as I walked past a girl shelving remote control cars. she “oh!”d three times before hurrying away..

when posting these entries it says: Rebuilding entry ”…
I see that ”… as a crocodile. ”…
when really the title of the entry, if it had a title, would go between the eyes. but without a title it’s a crocodile.


I have discovered blackcurrent tea.
I have also taken a valium. but they don’t do anything.
I take mylanta on average around three times per day.
I am 15% happier than usual.

atrocious shopping spree today, in which I purchased: a hideous plush piggy bank ($20); a coat ($30, on special); a scarf ($20, on special); the new Alanis Morissette CD ($21); Willow, the movie ($11); 2 Lady Lovely Locks videos ($15); one Lady Lovely Locks DVD ($7); The Trouble With Harry DVD ($14); several balls of yarn ($21).

oh, yes, handed in my essay. 2850 words. I will likely lose marks for it, but I just couldn’t cut out any more. it was all vital.


my dad’s response to my bedroom picture:

Is that a Carebear I see seated in your shelves in your bedroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My god, I despise those things. The memory of you watching their videos when you were about 3 or 4, hour after hour after hour. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

okay, i’ve finished my social psych essay. however! it’s close to 3000 words, and the absolute max word limit before you start losing marks is 2750. and i’ve already gone through it and chopped out all the nonessential parts! more than once! ee!

my divorce hearing was today. since it was the third rescheduled one, they’d said I Must be present, except, of course, it was in Cairns and I in Brisbane. so I called them (for three days before someone actually answered) and they said they’d call me on the day and have the hearing over the phone. so today they called me, and she said that I have to send my copy of the application to x, and send the court an affadavit saying i’d done so, and that even if x doesn’t respond..
she’ll grant the divorce! yay! so that hearing’s on the 16th of June. yay!

and! i’ve been keeping this stupid dailie for a year. yay.


I haven’t been sleeping or eating much, but i’ve almost finished two of 3½ assignments; the two hardest ones! the fourth one is only that partner presentation, 15 minutes, which is why it is classed as ½ compared to the other three 3000 word undertakings. I am slightly stressed, I simply cannot wait until this week is over and they’re both handed in. it’s working on two things at once. every time I think of the other one I want to be working on that one.
thus, I have a zit.

over the past two thinks (did I mean to say thinks there? I don’t remember. well, I’m leaving it) i’d been thinking how very quiet business had been; only a few orders and no problems or questions. it exploded right when I was at my busiest, of course.. about a billion things which have been taking up far too much time popped up like.. zits.

mumm told me Sarah goes to America before I go back home, which means I won’t see her! until she comes back. which I thought was two years, but is only 13 months. I was sad when I found out. we can’t live together for longer than a week without hating each other, but I like her. well. she’s going to Philedelphia at the end of this month.

I can’t remember if I mentioned joining fetchmemovies for the free trial. I have three DVDs, so in between assignment writing i’ve been watching…

Lady Lovely Locks! gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh, how very lucky I am that there is such a thing. loveX425086325.


when I am busy all the time it is like I am not alive.

on a Saturday morning cartoon
psychiatrist: I recommend we book you in for 400 more sessions.
patient: what? 400?! are you nuts?!
psychiatrist: no. you are.

peals of laughter for about an hour!
which means I smiled.

deeds kind & cruel

Since you’ve been gone and Sunsets

i’ve half decided to skip my biology tute tomorrow. i’m supposed to have found potential presentation articles to work on with my PARTner. the thing I hate most about university is partners.

while walking there today I came across four scattered pages of draft of essay, hastily scrawled in pencil and covered with corrections and rewordings. I folded them up and put them under a big old rock in the middle of the footpath. when I walked back the rock was still there, but the papers were not.

well. one in one blow. it is still on my desk, legs in the air, tongue unfurled. you know what that means.. i’ll be taking a picture of it.

dot points

  1. i’m exhausted. I walked up to uni and back twice today. I usually catch the bus there and walk back, downhill.. I wasn’t thinking clearly. need sleep. when I don’t have insomnia I romanticise it, forgetting how it is nothing but very tearfully frustrating.
  2. I very much despise the time between turning off the shower and being dry.
  3. somehow, when knitting, I always end up with more stitches than I began.
  4. I grew terribly sad when I realised I will have to practically rewrite my social psych essay. that’s what happens when you start early.
  5. Nia’s friend and her husband stayed here so the friend could audition for Australian Idol. Nia and the friend went out for dinner, for some reason leaving the husband behind to encroach on my comfort. thee most talkative boy in the world, but so very nice and amusing I ended up having a three hour conversation about a billion atrociously personal things. very odd. he was Canadian.
  6. there is a big, loud fly buzzing around and around the room.
  7. something I noticed right away upon transferring to GU: there are extremely few mature age students here; everyone is approximately my age or less. at JCU at least half the students were 30+, here, though.. the mean age for the biology experiment (on which the lab report [due this Monday!] is based) was 21.9.
  8. i’m not supposed to tell anyone (so if any family members read this, don’t tell anyone), but mumm is looking at houses for sale in Brisbane.
  9. i’m thinking a lot of transferring back to JCU, where admission to honours is more likely.
  10. the muffins are much, much nicer with peanut butter.

happy plant

i’m SLEEPY. I lay awake most of last night. but my cold is almost gone, by now. but i’m sad because I still haven’t started my biology report, the one the tutor said would be hard, marked hard. and a whole introduction and discussion.. ah, it isn’t as hard as an essay. my social psych essay, i’ve finished but for the conclusion, but am already 200 words over the limit..

this is my room (sorry, it’s no longer available).

I can’t wait for this month to be over. and June. I bought a happy plant today. I paid my overdue fines. I made muffins, though they came from a box. I don’t like them, I don’t like muffins. why’d I buy muffin mix, and make them? i’m sleepy.

a cold

I woke up today with a cold, I hope it is only a cold, i’ve too much to do to have the flu. at the moment it’s just sneezing, sore throat, headache, hot and cold flushes.
plus it’s the coldest day ever, pouring rain. remember how a few weeks ago I mentioned being able to see my breath ’cause it was 7am.. i’ve been seeing it all day, today. I like it, I can wear heaps of clothes, gloves, use my umbrella! i’ll ask mumm to send down my scarf. but i’m thinking of knitting one.. very thin and long, bright red, with large needles and feathered yarn.

I went to see Eternal Sunshine, as i’d planned for so long and finally decided last night to today. I spent the second half just waiting for it to be over.. I don’t know if it was because it was bad or because I felt bad. when I watch it again one day i’ll know.

haven’t eaten anything yet, but have drank 50 cups of lemon tea. oh, and strepsils. gosh, all the things I could be doing, need to be doing..

Buddha’s birthday

anything resembling uncontrollable rage is really merely mild annoyance.

went to the Buddha birthday festival! which was truly spectacular. there were the usual Southbank markets but then heaps of Chinese stuff as well, and a huge area with Chinese food, not the stuff you find in conventional Chinese restaurants.. but all this crazy stuff i’d never heard of before. vegetarian, of course.. it being a Buddhist thing. there were displays and all funny things set up with statues and gardens and stories and a million different ways to make a wish, with a candle on a pond or a giant gong, the washing Buddha ritual, and some chanting candle thing I lost interest in, lion dances and those dragons with amillion human legs. and free classes .. art and craft and using chopsticks and meditation. and funny buskers. and rides, which was odd.. ferris wheels and dodgem cars and fun houses. and Chinese lanterns everywhere.
and? I only stayed an hour and a half. but I looked at everything.

it’s the third of May already. this month will be so busy. i’ve written three quarters of my essay but only on one theory so far! if I were to do what i’d originally planned it would turn out three times it’s should-be length.
hmmhmm. I can’t just have one theory. i’ll shorten it.

TV etc

been watching inordinate amounts of tv. I mean, really.. it’s all i’ve done the past two days.
oh, you know how, just as you’ve fallen asleep, or are falling, you suddenly jump awake as if you were.. falling. .. 🙂 yes, well that happened to me last night. definite yay!
in between watching tv, when absolutely nothing has been on, I mean I can’t watch sport at all, and world news can only hold my attention for about five minutes, two if it’s in another language, i’ve been writing my social psychology essay on attitude change. i’m 760 words, except since it’s been over six months since writing my last essay, i’ve forgotten how, so so far it couldn’t be called an essay at all, but more a collection of unfinished, completely disconnected paragraphs.. ..unfinished as in ending mid sentence, disconnected as in when i’ve said something I need a reference for, and spend half an hour looking for one but can’t find one, I start on my next point without finishing the last. I know what I want to say… outline the theories, apply them, a nice neat section each, and then, of course, integrate them.. i’ve done it dozens of times. only I keep talking about things that aren’t in any of the theories, and can’t possibly reference because it’s just coming out of my brain and I doubt any of it is even right, since my brain’s ideas aren’t too reliable.

I just finished watching Terminator, the original, which i’d never seen! though i’ve seen the second a billion times, and even the third.. and Four weddings and a funeral, I watched them simultaneously, flipping back and forth. how wasteful, after a day-long of nothing to watch. an oil painting tutorial, a documentary on Cambodian culture, the great outdoors! how’s that for a job, to travel to all these $5000 places every week and play with tigers and go scuba diving for a stupid mid-Saturday tv show. gilmore girls, video hits, my wife and kids, two and a half men, two men and a half, or something, that one was bad. all of these i’ve never watched before in my life. and of course dozens of cartoons.. looney tunes! except it’s on an independent channel so the reception is blastedly bad.. pokemon, some ren & stimpy rip-off about a pink criminal bunny..

I don’t have uni Tuesday, it being labour day Monday, and since there are so many public holidays on Monday, they’ve put this Monday’s class schedule on Tuesday. which I don’t mind, Tuesday is my longest day. although Thursday is biology day, four straight hours.. i’d’ve preferred that one.

the Buddha birthday festival is on right now, has been all day, a 5 minute bus trip away.. I even walked right by the bus station on my way to dropping off an overdue library book for which I was being charged $2 per day for, i’ve three more I am still being charged $2 per day for, each! and! I actually had two of the exact same one, which is one of the ones I took back. what a flake am I. maybe i’ll go tomorrow. but I also need to buy groceries tomorrow. and there was something else..