while on the tilt train:

while on the tilt train:
I love the phrase “I’m dying.”
groaning aloud when I remember some embarrassing moment from 6 years ago.
rushing towards a bottleneck.
if you’re more intelligent and thus more sad, you’re more stupid.
thank you for having me.

there is hunger in me, but I mistake my inertia for apathy.
treestumps for gravestones
the light is so blue
I actually heard a child ask, in thee precise whiney tone, “are we there yet?”

this trip is 25 hours long, but cushy. but sleeping sitting up I wake every hour or so = the longest night ever.
i’d no idea Queensland was so swampy.

I feel guilty doing anything

I feel guilty doing anything but studying.

blood on your breath
seemless, graceless
pale colours
IN YOUR debt
exactly who you are
go before you’re gone
climb back in

Making a winter of tears with a summer of sighs he went his way until the evening, when he came to a wood that kept the Mule of the Sun outside its limits, while it was amusing itself with Silence and the Shades.

bah hhh.. pierced with prozac …     crushed up like a pill

I got spam from ladybugladywhoesreallyweird@hotmail.com

first exam! the girl beside

first exam! the girl beside me didn’t mark her answers on the computer sheet, but circled them on the question paper.
“oh,” said the supervisor, when collecting the papers, “i’m afraid you’ll fail, then.”
passed a vomiting boy on my way home. my landlady called me a “bit of a loner.”

I’ve recently been visiting your

I’ve recently been visiting your site several times a day. I’m in love. I
wanted to ask you who sang the song that you have linked to on May 19th 2004.
I’ve never heard it before, but have found that my expressing myself on paper has
taken a turn for the worse/better? while listening. Thanks a bunch.

the waifs.. they’re Australian.

final divorce hearing! he spieled

final divorce hearing! he spieled a stream of stuff I didn’t understand, ending with, “that means you’re divorced.”
oh! I said.
he said i’d done everything I could, and “he’s just being pig-headed.”
“yeah!” I wanted to yell. so I get a divorce certificate in 5 weeks.

red riding hood

there is something very suggestive about little red riding hood illustrations.
and the story, of course. it’s one of my favourites. minus the amusing dialogue.

peter newell

I have a whole collection

they went back to Cairns

they went back to Cairns today, I went with them to the airport to say bi.
since i’d been away for a week I had no food at my house, so I stopped in the city on the way home to eat something. and! care bear happy meals!
then, when lining up at the bus station, the boy behind me said something, and I smiled. I sat near the back, and he sat directly opposite and stared in my direction. not at me, but it made me uncomfortable enough so I got up and moved further back.
when I got off at the uni, he got off there too. hugely uncomfortable, since the walk from the uni to my house is dark scary and between a big concrete wall and ominous bush full of creaks and glowing rodent eyes. so I waited for the next bus and got on it.
and so did he! I got off at Garden City, and so did he, but so did everyone ’cause that’s where the bus ended. I ran through the centre, all shut up ’cause it was around midnight, and he was gone. so I walked home.

heavy s_eyes I can hear

heavy s_eyes
I can hear them fighting
I will be a child again
in some ways I cannot wait for life to be over
get lost

my great grandmother has more lipsticks in her refrigerator than food. the door is full of them.
I grew quite agitated searching for milk in the supermarket.

nanna Trish has purchased a $2000 hole in the wall at the church for her ashes to be cemented in.

and, and and and.
I live in a hothouse

hi hi hi hi hi.

hi hi hi hi hi.
i’m at Trina’s in Toowoomba, &gosh! I thought Brisbane was cold! Toowoomba is mountainie.
&. all they do is drink. all day long until by the end no one can stand up. of course, it’s very bad influence, this is what I wrote last night:

i’m rather drunk,ver.i’ve had five lemon rusies and two lasses of wine,whih is proa b.t around 12 standard drinks, i’m not sure. jut escapes a he argument with mumm nd trina over the prime minister’ lack of sorrie to indignous australia, which I think he sould have deliverred. Trin can’t see the diffieence betweenan apology and saying yo’re orry, where my mumm can,and althoughs ehfeels very stroly about aorigines casing their own fate (blame the victim, i.e. if theydidn’ t drink, but that’s such an unthough excuse fo so many reasons) she can openmindedly see my point, where tinra ranfrom the room in tear untilwe changes the subjecut..
and roger and the lesbian parents on playschool! I coldn’t believe it when thatwas such a bigdeal, bt then for someone .. to agree…

now i just need to g o t bed.. ican’t type on this stupid aptop keyboard.

my camerah’s batterie is flat and I forgot my charger. but! I desperately need pictures of Trina’s puppie! !!
well. we go to Brisbane tomorrow, and before then Ihave to design a logo for Trina’s new computer tutoring and administration solutions BUSIness yay.

ah, today. how wonderful you

ah, today. how wonderful you are.

  1. got back my biology report. the class average grade was 66%, “oh, no,” but I, of course, was an extreme outlier. i’m not telling which way.
  2. had my last class for the semester, during which I
  3. did my presentation! lost marks for going over time.. why is everything I do too long? still got a distinction.
  4. handed in my cognition report and my laboratory questions, my last two pieces of assessment, hurrah.
  5. bought a bottle of vodka and wasn’t carded. I don’t want to open it, it’s so prettie.
  6. shared a pizza with flatmate Nia, then watched Barbarella while we both companionably knitted.
  7. Clockwork Orange is on Sunday night, 9:30pm on SBS! how I [would] adore that channel [if it wouldn’t show so much foreign news and other hideously dull stuff].
  8. phonetalked to my mumm (who was annoyed I hadn’t been answering her on ICQ ’cause i’d forgot to put it on away) who is flying down instead. they left this morning at 5:30am, drove for two hours then turned around and drove back. because the car has a wobble, and at 120km it tends to induce nausea. so i’m meeting them at the airport at 8:30am tomorrow, which means I have to leave here at 7am.
  9. which means i’m going to bed now, early, instead of drinking vodka. except flatmate Sandy is singing again, and the wall dividing us grows more porous by the second.

i’ve been thinking of dying

i’ve been thinking of dying my hair the past few days.. well it needs redying, at the moment it’s half &half, and fadey. so. I read my horoscope today, for June, for the first time in months and months. actually I never read horoscopes.
and do you know what it said? it said “don’t change your hair.”

I spoke to Trina, on the phone, for the first time since moving here.. she said Ronnie’s been asking for me. they’ve told her i’ll be there in 3 sleeps, but she doesn’t understand 3 sleeps yet..
I really just want to see their new puppie.

and mumm, she’s arriving Friday, she’s driving trina’s car down and flying back up.. I assume daydream is coming. they’ll look at properties, visit the nannas. and! it’s right on my study break, so, good timing.
and.. I finished my cognition report today. all that’s left, now, is the presentation.