there are so many things I could apologise for.
the last day I drank far too much.. I should’ve realised I wouldn’t just stay drunk forever.
the times I was sad.. why on earth was I sad?
every time I said “no.” or something insensitive. or didn’t say what I was thinking. that’s the worst.. there’s much more I didn’t say.

I noticed yesterday, in the bathroom at uni, what horrid circles I had under my eyes. then last night I slept.
upon waking I felt okay, and thought today could be better. I couldn’t imagine feeling so low as the past two. now I realise it was just that I hadn’t yet had much of a chance to think. a half hour later I was already ..

life was just suppose to go back to the way it was before.