Had hayfever today. I took two avil and it was too much. If one makes me feel a zombie, then two makes me feel I’ve been drained of all moisture and life, sedated and sluggish. I also get a peculiar feeling in my chest; a fuzziness that doesn’t feel right, like being lightly poisoned.
Went to supervision and Sue did some decision making with me about the job situation. She finally tipped my balance and I’ve decided not to take the job. She pointed out that they seem to be asking a lot, more than is justified by the slight raise in pay, particularly when there will be such limited support.
Through all the gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands I’ve been obviously, blatantly leaning towards staying at my current job. It’s just.. just.. I hate the thought of letting fear of the unknown, or complacency, or laziness.. or anything! stopping me from taking advantage of an opportunity. I’ve done it so many times before (she berated herself bitterly). I know that’s not what is happening here.. but what does it matter if my already job is working for me? Why is making the “wrong” decision such a terribly frightening thing? GOD. Stupid Yuman.
Now I just need to call them to tell them I won’t be taking it.