Well I’m in Cairns.
I originally booked annual leave for this week so I could come spend it with my mumm as a holiday, and then one day a few weeks ago she called me late at night. I was busy getting my party on so didn’t get her missed calls till the next morning. When I messaged her asking if everything was alright, she said “yep, everything’s fine.”
Then five minutes later: “Well, almost fine. I wanted to know if I could come live with you for a while.”
haha, what. So I called her back and arranged to, rather than come visit, fly up, spend a couple days here, then drive back down to Brisbane with her. She’s going to stay with me a few months, probably until September, sleeping on a blow-up mattress on my living room floor, poor thing. We’re also bringing her little toy poodle Teddy, o gosh.
I got here yesterday, far too warmly dressed. We spent some time at Trina’s, awkward hugs all around. I can probably count on my fingers the total number of hugs I’ve received from all three Trina, Roger and Veronica, so that was a bit strange. They fed us all huge glasses of wine, topping them up constantly, trying to trick us into staying.. for dinner? or for forever…
Nop. We came home, mumm made us salmon and veges, and we watched Game of Thrones.
Teddy let out little yaps all through the night; I think because he wanted up on mumm’s bed, which I was sharing because her spare room is a mess of chaotic packing. Teddy is a needy, demanding little terror. I was teaching mumm how to train him all night. I thought it would be cute and fun to have a puppy at my house but now I am concerned it will just be annoying as all hell. He has a pee mat. Do you understand? A mat on the floor, inside the house, on which he pees. Great.
I don’t know if it was because I disturbed by Teddy all night or because I had traumatic family experiences all day but I had the most frightening dream. I was a middle aged man with a family and had bought an abandoned house really cheap without really checking it out first. When we arrived to look at it I knew immediately it was haunted by an evil spirit. I walked in and saw awful things reflected in the mirrors and hanging from the light fixtures from the corner of my eye. Spiteful laughter and murmured curses. I went upstairs and saw a disintegrating body, all melting flesh and tiny feasting creatures, and knew the spirit was of a once-alive murderous psychopath. I ran out to find my children had been possessed by it. I bundled them all into a car, one that had come with the house, but it wouldn’t drive right. Oh, god, the car was possessed.
I woke up to Teddy chewing my face.