So something I had not realised at the time of my last post was that I was pregernernent. Uh, pregnant.
I mean, it was too soon to tell so I probably wouldn’t have been classed as pregnant technically, but I had conceived. At some point around the third week of August, to be precise. I am now 25 weeks.
I know that doesn’t add up. It’s weird how they determine how pregnant you are.
The old fashioned way, starting from the first day of my last period, I am 26 weeks (almost 27).
Going by my charts, I last ovulated on the 21st August, which is 24 weeks ago (This literally *has* to be when I actually conceived, within a day or two. Seriously, the window is tiny).
But according to my last ultrasound, the baby is of a size that indicates it is due to burst out on the 18th May. That is 15 weeks away; putting me at 25 weeks. And that is the official date all the doctors and midwives go by.
So, like three years later! omg about time. How did this finally happen?
An entry or so ago I wrote about how we had been seeing a fertility specialist who had been heavily recommending IVF. I was very hesitant to commit to that option.. but I had read about a procedure women often go through first in order to determine that their fallopian tubes are unobstructed. The HSG test, where they flush radioactive fluid through your tubes while giving you an X-ray to observe the flow.
If your fallopian tubes are open, there is no reason you shouldn’t be getting pregnant. However there is an increasing body of research emerging showing that simply having this procedure performed can increase your chances of conception. My sister had had it done, and had become pregnant next cycle. I wanted to give it a go. The specialist wouldn’t commit to the potential of it actually helping, but agreed it would be useful to have a look at the functioning of my one remaining tube.
I was really nervous about the procedure. REALLY nervous. My sister described it as the most painful experience of her life. She lost control of her bowels on the table… while simultaneously vomiting. I told this to the specialist and he prescribed me some Valium and some Panadeine Forte to take immediately prior to the test.
As a result of these prescriptions I don’t remember much of the procedure, except that it was only mildly uncomfortable. We realised later that the reason my sister’s experience was so awful was that she was experiencing ovarian torsion at precisely the same time it was happening.
So it went fine. I went home much relieved. Within two cycles I was pregnant.
I haven’t posted about it anywhere. I’ve told my family and friends and colleagues, but I’ve felt too uncomfortable to make a proclamation. I have been very averse to doing one of those adorable announcements where you post a photo of the parents’ shoes and a pair of baby shoes and the due date or something. Ugh.
When I consider why, it is partly that I can’t get too excited after a) how long it has taken and b) the miscarriage and c) my age. But it is also that this is not a huge life achievement / goal / bucket list item for me. I don’t think it is going to change my identity. It is not something I always thought I would do, or have always looked forward to, or taken for granted, the way many women do. To be honest, I’m surprised I’m doing it and am having lots of second thoughts and mild anxieties that I am doing the wrong thing, that my life will have to change in lots of massive ways I’m unprepared for, and will regret it.
But… it’s too late now this is happening I am pregernernent lol see u on the other side