There is a thing going around on tumblr where, if you’re well-liked enough to get tagged, you play your muse-sicks on shuffle, and list the first ten songs that decide now would be a good time to be played after a fifteen year hibernation.
But, well, the idea is that, apparently, “you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to.” Clearly I want you to know a lot about me.
So yeah, here is my list of shufflings. I honestly don’t know what these random songs might tell you about me. But I assume you now know all of my secrets and fears (fanciful and flighty) and hopes and dreams (deep and dark).
Seriously, I never delete anything from my library. Doing this is going to undoubtedly be embarrassing.
- TV II — Ministry (Psalm 69: The way to Succeed & the way to Suck Eggs)
- Catwalk — The Karminsky Experience Inc. (In Flight Entertainment)
- Schallstrom — Apparat (Duplex)
- Sandy — Caribou (Andorra)
- Penty Harmonium — Aphex Twin (Drukqs)
- Snakedriver — The Jesus and Mary Chain (The Crow: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
- Precious Creature — Floex (Zorya)
- st epreo — Autechre (Oversteps)
- Rape Me — Nirvana (Nirvana) — I’m not even kidding
- Never Let Me Go — Florence + The Machine (Ceremonials – Deluxe Version)
Yep. That right there is why I never shuffle.
While listening to the above ten songs I flipped through a giant exercise book my mumm gave me today. It’s one of those ones separated into five sections – one for each subject in high school. So, yeah, it’s my notebook from high school, which mumm has for some reason kept for sixteen years. It’s covered in hideous doodlings; mostly of my name, pagan symbols, unicorns, and stupid receding swirly lines. There is a big “North Queensland Aero Club” bumper sticker on the front. It isn’t attractive.
Inside is no better. The first page reads: In 20 years I see myself as a hermit, finally cast out of society a heathen.
The second page reads:
Your Attention Please
The Polar DEW has just warned that
A nuclear rocket strike of
At least one thousand megatons
Has been launched by the enemy
Directly at our major cities.
This announcement will take
Two and a quarter minutes to make,
You therefore have a further
Eight and a quarter minutes
To comply with the shelter
Requirements published in the Civil
Defence Code – section Atomic Attack.
A specially shortened Mass
Will be broadcast at the end
Of this announcement –
Protestant and Jewish services
Will begin simultaneously –
Select your wavelength immediately
According to instructions
In the Defence Code. Do not
Take well-loved pets (including birds)
Into your shelter – they will consume
Fresh air. Leave the old and bed-
ridden, you can do nothing for them.
Remember to press the sealing
Switch when everyone is in
The shelter. Set the radiation
Aerial, turn on the Geiger barometer.
Turn off your Television now.
Turn off your radio immediately
The Services end. At the same time
Secure explosion plugs in the ears
Of each member of your family. Take
Down your plasma flasks. Give your children
The pills marked one and two
In the C.D green container, then put
Them to bed. Do not break
The inside airlock seals until
The radiation All Clear shows
(Watch for the cuckoo in your
perspex panel), or your District
Touring Doctor rings your bell.
If before this, your air becomes
Exhausted or if any of your family
In critically injured, administer
The capsules marked ‘Valley Forge’
(Red Pocket in No. 1 Survival Kit)
For painless death. (Catholics
Will have been instructed by their priests
What to do in this eventuality).
This announcement is ending. Our President
Has already given orders for
Massive retaliation – it will be
Decisive. Some of us may die.
It is not likely to be you.
All flags are flying fully dressed
On Government buildings – the sun is shining.
Death is the least we have to fear.
We are all in the hands of God,
Whatever happens happens by His Will.
Now go quickly to your shelters.